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Let the Healing begin

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At 60, I’m finally facing the pain I’ve carried for decades. It’s a heavy load, one I was taught to ignore because my emotions didn’t matter. “Just let it go,” they said. “Others matter more.” In my family of four, I was the “fish child”—the odd one out, swimming in a current of expectations and unspoken rules, never quite fitting in. My mother’s death left a void, and my father’s grief turned the holidays, once a time of warmth, into a season of extra chores and shared misery. If he hated the holidays, we had to hate them too. Growing up, I learned to bury my feelings. My father’s selfishness—his insistence that we bear his pain—came with emotional and sometimes physical abuse. I was taught that tolerating this was the price of connection, that love meant enduring. But it didn’t. It left me disconnected, not just from him but from myself. Now, I’m unlearning those lessons. My emotions do matter. I don’t have to accept abuse to feel close to another human soul. This blog is my act of healing—a space to name the pain, to honor the fish child who deserved better, and to reach out to others who’ve lived similar stories. If you’ve ever felt invisible in your family, told to “let it go” while your heart ached, know this: you’re not alone. Your pain is real, and it’s okay to feel it. Healing starts with seeing yourself, with refusing to carry the weight of someone else’s misery. I’m 60, and I’m finally free to feel. To those reading this, I hope my words help you take that first step toward your own freedom. You don’t have to tolerate abuse to be loved. You are enough, just as you are. MeganR Pronounced Me-Goner as me gone from the abuse and living a happy life.

Dream a little Dream

Last night, I had a dream that really made me think about my past and the choices I’ve made. In it, I was offered my old accounting job back at US Homes—a job I lost back in 2005 after being set up in a way that still stings to think about. In the dream, my boss was defending me to my coworkers, telling them he knew I’d been wronged and was trying to make things right. It felt good to hear that, but by the end of the day, I turned down the job and went back to my lawn service. I told myself I could make in one day what I’d have to work a whole week for at US Homes, and I wouldn’t have to deal with the same garbage that was still going on there. When I woke up, I couldn’t stop thinking about what it all meant, so I turned to Aunty Flo’s dream interpretations to dig deeper.

According to Aunty Flo, dreaming about a job often ties to how I see my responsibilities or self-worth through work. Getting offered my old role back felt like a second chance at something I’d lost unfairly. I’ve carried a lot of frustration from that time—feeling like I was set up left me questioning myself for years. Aunty Flo mentions that workplace dreams can reflect unresolved self-criticism, and I can see that here. A part of me still wants closure from that chapter.

Seeing my boss defend me in front of my coworkers was a big moment in the dream. Aunty Flo says bosses in dreams often represent authority or control in our lives, and this felt like a craving for justice. I wanted someone to acknowledge I’d been wronged, and in the dream, my boss was trying to do that. But my coworkers being there—and the fact that I could sense the same old conflicts brewing—made me uneasy. Aunty Flo connects coworkers in dreams to social dynamics, and I think this reflects my lingering fear of being judged or criticized in that old work environment. Even in the dream, I could feel the tension, like nothing had really changed.

The most empowering part was when I decided to walk away. I went back to my lawn service, which I’ve been running since leaving the corporate world. In the dream, I told myself I could earn in one day what I’d have to grind a whole week for at US Homes, and I wouldn’t have to put up with the same toxic nonsense. Aunty Flo interprets rejecting opportunities in dreams as a sign of choosing my own path over what’s expected of me, and that resonates so much. My lawn service, tied to working outdoors with grass and nature, feels like freedom compared to the corporate grind. Aunty Flo often links nature in dreams to growth and simplicity, and I can see why I’d choose that over the chaos of US Homes.

The “garbage” I mentioned in the dream—the ongoing issues at US Homes—hits home too. Aunty Flo says workplace dreams can point to a lack of control or disorganization in our lives, and that’s exactly what I felt back then: a toxic environment I couldn’t fix. By walking away in the dream, I was setting a boundary, refusing to go back to a place that hurt me, even if it came with an apology. It felt like my subconscious was telling me I’ve already made the right choice by moving on.

Looking back on this dream, I think it’s about empowerment. I’m processing the injustice I faced at US Homes, craving validation for what happened (through my boss’s defense), but ultimately choosing my own happiness and self-respect over revisiting a painful past. I’m proud of where I am now with my lawn service—it’s hard work, but it’s mine, and I don’t have to deal with the corporate drama I left behind. This dream reminded me to keep valuing myself and my peace, and maybe it’s a nudge to reflect on whether anything in my life right now is making me feel undervalued. For now, I’m just glad I listened to my dream self and walked away—I think it’s a sign I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

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